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Here’s a fun fact—did ya know some prostitutes in Amsterdam got tax IDs? Legit business, motherfucker! Blows my mind—wish it was that organized here. Instead, I’m hagglin’ in an alley, smellin’ piss and regret. Oh, and get this—once saw a dude try pimpin’ his cousin out. Family business gone wrong, fuckin’ hilarious till the fists flew.

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Then I bumped into my mate, Dave, outside the East Grinstead Museum. He’s always got the best gossip. Turns out, there’s a new café on Lingfield Road. “Best coffee in town,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine fix!” So, we head over.

Teens arrested after women say they were threatened with a machete