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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta “12 Years a Slave”. You got these apps, right? Swipe this, swipe that—bam, ya hooked up! But half the time, it’s a damn scam, like Platt gettin’ sold into hell. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Ain’t this some shit?” People out here lyin’ bout their pics, their jobs—fakakta nonsense! Makes me wanna whack somebody, I swear.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s rambling about this ghost he saw near the old Easington Colliery. I’m like, “Dude, you’ve been watching too many horror flicks.” But he’s dead serious. Says it was all misty and creepy. I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave.

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