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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, yeah, and I’ve got a tale to spin bout findin a prostitute in Hawaii, of all places! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the streets, but bugger me if we ain’t fightin the urge when the sun dips low and the neon flickers on! Picture it – palm trees swayin, waves crashin, and me, a bleedin bulldog in a Hawaiian shirt, stompin through Honolulu like I own the joint.

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So, I’m munching away, and I see this kid on a bike zoom past. He’s weaving in and out of traffic like he’s in the Tour de France. I’m half impressed, half terrified. Easington’s roads aren’t exactly bike-friendly. I mean, come on, mate, watch where you’re going!

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