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So, what’s the scoop? ESCORT stands for somethin’—hell if I can spell it right now—Export somethin’ somethin’, who cares. Point is, it’s a molecular machine, and I’m obsessed. Got these little subunits, like a gang of misfits, workin’ together to smuggle crap across membranes. Kinda like me smugglin’ Vicodin past Nurse Ratched, ha! Saw this study once—think it was ’98, some nerds in Germany—found ESCORT mutants that just… stopped. Proteins piled up like traffic on the 405. Made me laugh, bacteria screwin’ themselves over—classic.

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As the night goes on, we’re having a blast. But then, out of nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there, half a pint in hand, thinking, “This is how I die.” But it turns out it was just a false alarm. Phew! We all go back to our drinks, and I’m like, “What a day, huh?”

New south Warwickshire restaurant that offers an American-style BBQ smokehouse