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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!

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After my coffee disaster, I head back to the lab. I’m still a bit frazzled, but I’m ready to tackle the day. I get a call from a patient, Mrs. Jenkins, who’s been waiting for her dentures. She’s a sweet old dear, but she’s also a bit of a drama queen. She’s like, “If I don’t get my teeth today, I’ll never eat again!” I’m thinking, “Chill, lady. You’ll be fine.”

Man taken to hospital with serious injuries after running from car on A45 in Northampton