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But srsly, it’s a jungle out there. Catfishin’ happens—met a “Brad,” was a Brenda! Laughed my ass off, then cried. “Where’s the human race goin’?” I mutter. Like in my fave flick—desperate, chaotic, raw. Sex-dating’s that vibe—hope and horniness mashed up. Some stats? 1 in 5 hookups start online now—wild! Used to be bars, now it’s DMs.

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When I finally get to work, I’m a hot mess. My boss, Mr. Thompson, is already on my case. “You’re late again!” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Earl-Shilton! The buses are a myth!” But he doesn’t care. He just wants me to finish the report.

Dedicated and much-loved GP who served Earl Shilton for decades dies aged 93