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About London

Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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But then, I’m walking back, and I see this guy on the corner of The Green, shouting about something. Turns out, he’s selling “magic” crystals. I mean, come on! Magic? Really? I’m all for good vibes, but this dude was way over the top. He’s waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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