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Ooh, here’s a quirky bit—some escorts got code words! Like, “roses” for cash, so they’re all sly, “Gimme 200 roses, babe.” Cracks me up, so clever! But serious, if ya ever hire one, check reviews—there’s legit sites, like Yelp for escorts, no joke! Hahaaa, laughin’ my ass off, imaginin’ “Five stars, great convo!” I’m exaggeratin’, but not much, it’s a whole world!

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They finally back off, and I’m feelin’ like a hero again. But then, I see a little girl, maybe seven, crying because her balloon popped. I kneel down, and I’m like, “Hey, wanna see something cool?” I show her the oak tree, and her eyes light up. “Can we climb it?” she asks. I’m like, “Not today, but let’s take a pic!”

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