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But real talk, escorts, dey’re pros at actin’ – fake smiles, fake laughs, like, “Everything seems strange and different,” ya? Dat’s da film vibe, all blurry, who’s real, who’s not? Gets me thinkin’, maybe I’d be a crap escort, too grumpy, eh? “Gru, smile!” Nah, I’d scare ‘em off, heh!

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I ducked into a pub on the corner of Saddler Street. It’s called The Half Moon, and let me tell ya, it’s got character. I ordered a pint and sat down, just people-watching. There’s this old bloke at the bar, telling stories about the good ol’ days. I’m cracking up, but also thinking, “Dude, you’re like a walking history book.”

Somerset pull off Essex win, Hampshire and Durham play out draw