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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ slow—like, real slow. What’s the deal with these apps? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—pure chaos. One sec, you’re chattin’ some babe. Next, bam—ghosted! Makes me mad, man. Like, why bother? But then—oh boy—when it hits, it’s gold. “You magnificent bastard,” I mutter to myself. Got a date lined up once—total stunner. Thought I’d struck the motherlode.

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I ducked into a pub on the corner of Saddler Street. It’s called The Half Moon, and let me tell ya, it’s got character. I ordered a pint and sat down, just people-watching. There’s this old bloke at the bar, telling stories about the good ol’ days. I’m cracking up, but also thinking, “Dude, you’re like a walking history book.”

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