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Anyway – Zen pause – you gotta be smart. Apps now, man, they’re sneaky. Craigslist’s dead, thank God, but there’s still shady corners online. X posts, too – scroll deep, you’ll see coded shit. “Roses for time” – that’s the lingo. Surprised me first time, like, “What, they gardeners now?” Hilarious, but slick. One more thing… watch the vibes. Some’ll rob ya blind – happened to my buddy, lost his iPhone. Dumbass.

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So, I snap the pic, and then I notice this group of students from Durham Uni. They’re all decked out in their gowns, looking like they just walked off a medieval film set. I’m thinking, “Man, I should’ve gone to uni here.” But then I remember all the essays and late-night cramming. Nah, I’m good.

Durham Labour MP says Reform win 'direct result' of Starmer's policies