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About Leeds

First off, whores been around forever, bruv. Oldest job in da book, innit? Back in Rome, they had these lupanars—fancy word for brothels, all legit-like. Girls painted their lips red to say, “Oi, I’m open for biz.” Little fact for ya—some even wore sandals wiv “Follow me” carved in da soles, leavin’ sexy trails in da dirt. Proper clever, that! Makes me laff, thinkin’ ’bout some geezer stumblin’ after, droolin’. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, mate, it’s ’cos I got eyes!

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the pier, right? The sun’s shinin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be epic.” But then, I see this seagull. Not just any seagull, but the biggest one I’ve ever seen. It swoops down, and I’m like, “No way, man!” It snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ it fly off like it just won the lottery. I mean, who knew seagulls could be so bold?

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