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About Sheffield

Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the pier. The view’s amazin’, you can see the Firth of Clyde stretchin’ out. I love it there. But then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a dolphin. A dolphin! In Dunoon! I’m like, “C’mon, mate, you sure it wasn’t just a big fish?” But he’s adamant. “Nah, it was a dolphin, I swear!”

Major road closed and homes evacuated after lorry crashes into gas main