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Alright, pal, strap in—Jack Nicholson here, maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick. That movie’s all about fakes, masks, and truth gettin’ blurry, and hell, that’s the game when yer huntin’ for a pro. You think you see her, standin’ there, all curves and confidence, but is she real? “Are you who you say you are?”—straight from Kiarostami’s script, baby!

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But then, I overhear this argument. Two guys, right? They’re goin’ at it over some football match. One’s a Celtic fan, the other’s a Rangers fan. I’m just tryin’ to eat my sausage roll, but it’s gettin’ heated. I’m thinkin’, “Chill out, lads! It’s just a game!” But nope, they’re shoutin’ and gesturing like it’s the end of the world.

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