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Lemme break it down—prostitution’s old as dirt. Fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred hookers, gettin’ paid to bless ya soul. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how WALL-E’d roll up, all, “Evaaa?”—confused as hell. Anyway, you wanna find one? Cities got red-light zones, shady corners—ain’t no Google Maps pin sayin’, “Here’s the goods.” You gotta feel the vibe, spot the strut, the eye contact that says, “Yo, you buyin’?”

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Dunblane Cathedral. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is just wow. I was snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, I live here, but I can’t help it! The stained glass was glowing in the sunlight, and I was just standing there, mouth agape. Then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, they say the cathedral’s haunted.” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my art skills.”

Plans for Sir Andy Murray 'legacy' centre in Dunblane scrapped