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Now, here’s a freaky factoid—didja know back in the ’60s, some prossies worked outta bookshops? Covert, man! Hidin’ in plain sight, like spies in mini skirts. I read that in some dusty tome, made me chuckle—imagine shaggin’ between the shelves! Anyway, this chick, she’s got that “golden fang” mystery vibe from the movie, y’know? “What’s your deal, love?” I ask, tryin’ to play it smooth. She’s all, “Fiver for a quickie, ten for the night.” Bargain, baby!

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Then, I decided to head to the park. It’s called the Dunblane Memorial Park, and it’s gorgeous. I plopped down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids were playing, dogs were running around, and I was just there, feeling all the feels. But then, this kid ran past me, and his ice cream went flying. SPLAT! Right on my shoe. I was like, “Great, now I’m part of the ice cream club.”

Labour’s David Wilson wins Dunblane and Bridge of Allan by-election