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Hiss! But the creeps, ooh, they crawl out! One bloke, all “hey babe”—ugh, stank of desperation! “Hang care!” I’d yell, like Llewyn’s song—block, bye, next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, mate—ya gotta dodge the weirdos. Fun fact, tho—heard some app started in a basement, 2000s, just horny coders messin’ ‘round! Now it’s billions, ha! Surprised me, that—thought it was all posh suits, not geek sweat!

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Anyway, we finally get going. We hit up the Robert Burns Centre. Love that place! Burns was a legend. But then, I overhear this one guy saying, “Who’s Robert Burns?” I nearly lost it! I mean, come on! You’re in Scotland! You gotta know the bard! I had to give him a mini-lecture. “He’s only the most famous poet ever!”

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