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I got into it years back—random spa gig. Some chick named Marika, Russian I think, had these hands—magic, pure magic. She’s kneadin my back, and I’m like, “What is HAPPENIN?!” Made me happy as hell—stress just melted, poof, gone! But then—get this—found out she charged double! Pissed me off, man, greedy vibes ruin it. Still, that buzz? Worth it. “The sea gives, the sea takes”—straight outta *Leviathan*, right? Sexual-massage gives ya life, but damn, it takes ya wallet!

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Anyway, we finally get going. We hit up the Robert Burns Centre. Love that place! Burns was a legend. But then, I overhear this one guy saying, “Who’s Robert Burns?” I nearly lost it! I mean, come on! You’re in Scotland! You gotta know the bard! I had to give him a mini-lecture. “He’s only the most famous poet ever!”

Next wins 18-year fight to open new store at Dumfries retail park