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Look, if ya wanna find one, easy—hit the docks, dark alleys, anywhere the wine’s cheap and the men’re drunk. They’re like those spirits floatin’ round, poppin’ up when ya least expect. One time, this cheeky tart tried hagglin’ with me—ME!—over a job. Told her, “I don’t pay for filth,” and walked off laughin’. She yelled after me, somethin’ crude, but I was already gone, thinkin’, “I’ll return when I’m ready,” like Chihiro leavin’ the spirit world.

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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the pub? Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just standing there, half a pint in hand, thinking, “This is how I die.” But it’s just a false alarm. Phew!

Rotary Club seeks home for Santa’s float