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About Sheffield
Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass through dirt all day, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy gig, but it’s real life, okay? Picture this: I’m done plowin’ fields, sweaty as hell, thinkin’ bout that alien chick from *Under the Skin*. You know, “You’re not from here, are you?”—that vibe. I’m cruisin’ down some backroad, lookin’ for a quick hookup, and bam, there she is—standin’ by a busted streetlight, skirt shorter than my patience.
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So, I’m standin’ there, right? Tryin’ to decide if I should buy some raspberry or go wild with the blackcurrant. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks over a whole table of jam! It’s like a jam explosion! I’m talkin’ sticky chaos everywhere. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.
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