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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a free pass to get nasty. No, sugar, it’s art, not a cheap thrill! Had this one masseuse, total pro, whispered, “Just let go,” and I was like—wow, “There’s no hiding from this!”—straight outta *Melancholia*. Felt the universe in my spine, no lie. Oh, and here’s a juicy tidbit—some parlors in Japan, they blindfold ya! Heightens every damn touch. Surprised me silly—nearly jumped off the table!

McCoy's Guide

Welcome to Secret Tantric London's finest VIP Massage agency. Since we first opened our doors we have provided the ultimate erotic massage experience.

Then, I head to the lab on St. Andrews Road. I’m all pumped to work on this enzyme project. But guess what? My lab partner, Dave, forgot to order the reagents. I mean, seriously? How do you forget that? I could’ve screamed! But instead, I just rolled my eyes. Classic Dave.

Police put out warning to irresponsible dog owners