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Funny bit – mate of mine slipped off the table once, mid-massage, buck naked! Laughed my arse off, “You’re a beast!” I shouted. He wasn’t chuffed, but I was in stitches. Erotic-massage can be a riot, yeah? Not just sexy – bloody hilarious!

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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, and I hit up Market Street. It’s like the heart of the town, ya know? All the shops, the buzz, the people. I’m feelin’ good, ready to take on the world. But then, bam! I see this old dude, right? He’s tryin’ to cross the road, and he’s movin’ slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We ain’t got all day!” But then I realize, hey, I’m a warrior, not a jerk. So, I help him out. He thanks me, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Man arrested after two women stabbed at house in Downpatrick | UTV | ITV News