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But then Ascotally, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all glitz and glam like in the movies. Nah, it’s gritty. Did ya know, back in the day, like old Japan times—think *Spirited Away* vibes—geishas weren’t even prostitutes? People mix that up! Real pros tho, they’re out there, workin’ shadows, dodgin’ cops like Chihiro dodgin’ bathhouse rules. “Work hard, don’t cause trouble,” Yubaba’d say—ha, these girls break that every night!

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After the footy madness, I’m feelin’ peckish. I head over to the local chippy on Church Street. Best fish and chips in town, no doubt. I order a massive portion, and while I’m waitin’, I chat with the owner. He’s a proper character, always crackin’ jokes. He tells me about the time he tried to fry a whole turkey for Christmas. Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my drink.

Minister Announces £3.1M Funding Boost For Downpatrick