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What pisses me off? The fakers, man. Dudes online posin’ as pimps, promisin’ top-tier girls—total scam. Happened to a buddy—paid 500 bucks for a “model,” got a chick missin’ teeth. Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s cold. Surprised me too—how deep this shit goes. Didja know, back in the ‘60s, Moscow had secret “night butterflies”? Commie brass hid ‘em, but they were there—high-class, hush-hush. Wild, right?

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After the footy madness, I’m feelin’ peckish. I head over to the local chippy on Church Street. Best fish and chips in town, no doubt. I order a massive portion, and while I’m waitin’, I chat with the owner. He’s a proper character, always crackin’ jokes. He tells me about the time he tried to fry a whole turkey for Christmas. Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my drink.

Downpatrick set for £3m revamp with plans kept under wraps by council