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About Glasgow

Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good knead—me shoulders creak like a ship’s hull after dodgin’ the Navy. But this? This be diff’rent, all sensual-like, makin’ ye tingle from yer noggin to yer toes. Got me a tale—once, in Tortuga, this lass with hands like velvet says, “Lie down, Jack,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “This be a trap, or paradise?” Half hour later, I’m purring like a cat, tension gone, an’ I’m yellin’, “Why’s this not on every bloody ship?!” Made me happy as a clam, it did—till she nicked me gold tooth, the wench! Arr, that riled me up somethin’ fierce!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and BAM! He knocks over a whole basket of strawberries. I’m talkin’ a strawberry massacre! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The poor vendor is fuming, and I’m just trying not to laugh. I mean, it’s tragic, but also kinda hilarious.

Police seize e-scooter after illegal driving in town