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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.
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“Surprise!” they shout. I’m like, “What’s this? A surprise party?” Nope. They just wanted to show me their new drone. Great. Just what I needed. A bunch of blokes flyin’ a drone over my head.
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