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Oi, mate, findin’ a prossie, eh? What a bleedin’ mission! Picture this—me, Ricky bloody Gervais, tearing through the streets like Max Rockatansky in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “I live, I die, I live again!”—except it’s me huntin’ for a tart instead of guzzling guzzoline. You’d think it’s easy, right? Nah, it’s a right palaver! Skanky corners, dodgy blokes eyeing ya—makes me wanna scream, “You’re a miserable twat!” to the whole lot.
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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, half-asleep, and I’m already late. Typical, right? I grab my coffee from that little café on High East Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, who names a croissant “The Flaky Dream”? Anyway, I downed it like it was a shot of espresso. Needed that caffeine boost, for sure.
FEATURE: Season to remember for Magpies' fans despite play-off heartbreak
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