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About Glasgow

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Then, I bump into this old fella named Bertie. He’s a local legend, I swear. He starts tellin’ me stories about the town. Like, did you know Donaghadee used to be a major port? Crazy, right? He’s got this twinkle in his eye, and I’m just noddin’ along, lovin’ the vibe. But then he goes off on a rant about how the youth don’t appreciate the history. I’m like, “Chill, Bertie, we’re tryin’ our best!”

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