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This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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So, I’m fumin’ a bit, but whatever. I keep walkin’ and head over to the harbor. The view is sick, tho. The sun glintin’ off the water, boats bobbin’ around. I’m feelin’ a bit better. I pull out my sketchbook, ready to capture the moment. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the bird just looks at me like, “What’s your problem?”

Three men charged after discovery of 'sophisticated cannabis operation' in Donaghadee