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Now, listen—I got mad once, real mad. Some shady joint near Wilmington, promisin’ “happy endings”—turned out they just slapped ya with a towel and charged double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happy as a clam—muscles loosey-goosey, stress gone, like I’m floatin’. Reminds me of Toni’s dad in that movie, y’know? Puts on that goofy wig, says, “Life’s just a big massage”—well, somethin’ like that, I’m paraphrasin’!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on the High Street. It’s buzzing, as usual. You got the fruit stalls, the fishmonger, and that one guy selling dodgy-looking kebabs. I mean, who buys kebabs at 9 AM? But hey, to each their own, right? I grab a bacon butty from the café. Best decision ever. I’m munching away, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. Classic Dinnington, I tell ya.

Councillors to consider 'transformative' new facility at Dinnington Campus site