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Hey, how you doin’? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex escorts, right? Like, bein’ a librarian, I see all kinda books—some raunchy, some deep, some just weird. And escorts? Man, they’re like somethin’ outta “A Serious Man”—all mysterious, unpredictable, droppin’ into your life like Larry Gopnik’s problems. “I haven’t done anything!”—that’s me, yellin’ at the world when I first heard bout this stuff. Shocked me, ya know?

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Finally, I get back to the car. I’m like, “Alright, last student of the day, let’s make it count.” It’s a guy named Mark. He’s a bit older, and I can tell he’s nervous. We’re on the Limavady Road, and he’s takin’ it slow. I’m like, “Mark, you gotta speed up a bit!” But he’s all, “I don’t wanna get pulled over!” I’m like, “Mate, you’re not even goin’ the limit!”

Derry beat Antrim again to land Ulster U16 camogie title