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Love the gig tho, sometimes. Freedom, cash, no boss screamin’. “A thousand years I’ve waited”—okay, not really, but feels like it when you’re horny and broke, right? Escorts swoop in, bam, problem solved. Got this one story—dude paid 2k for a night, she shows up in a trenchcoat, nothin’ underneath! Laughed my ass off—genius move. Little known fact: some escorts got codenames, like spies. “Red Sparrow,” “Vixen”—shit’s wild.

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So, I finally get my sarnie and head to the park on Denton Holme. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed. Kids runnin’ around, dogs barkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my brekkie. Then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills his juice all over me! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” Sticky and annoyed, I wipe my hands on my jeans.

Unexplained death in Carlisle: Denton Holme park cordoned off by police