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Ford pumped these babies out, cheap, reliable, but man, some were total shitboxes. Little known fact – the ‘91 Escort GT, had a Mazda engine, zippy lil’ fucker, surprised me big time. Drove one once, felt like a king – well, a broke-ass king, ha! “The wolf’s awake!” – that’s me, floored it, tires screamin’, pure chaos. Loved that rush, but pissed me off when it broke down – fuckin’ alternator, every damn time.

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After that, I head out to grab a cuppa at the café on Denton Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best bacon sarnies in town. I’m in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, it’s just a coffee!” Finally, he orders some fancy latte with oat milk. Oat milk? Really? I just want my builder’s tea, thank you very much!

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