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But serious, it’s a skillset, innit? Emotional intelligence – bang on! They’re like therapists with a twist, yeah? “What am I doing with my life?” Charlotte asks in the film, and I’m screamin’ at the telly – hire an escort, love! Instant clarity, no faff. Gets me proper giddy, the thought – someone’s there, no judgement, just pure, unfiltered company. Beats a corporate away-day, hands down.

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After the morning madness, I decided to take a breather. I strolled down to the local café on Queensferry Road. Best bacon butty in town, no joke. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better, when I overhear this couple arguing. They were going on about something ridiculous—like who left the toilet seat up. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about?

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