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Oi mate, tractor life’s a grind! Drivin’ me rig all day, chuggin’ through mud, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prossie—y’know, a bit of company! Love me some “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that flick’s got passion, mate, proper steamy vibes! Reminds me, I’m out here, lonely, needin’ a bird to spice things up. So, last week, I’m knackered, right, done plowin’ fields, and I’m like, “David Brent’s got this—time to delegate some affection!”

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So, I’m there, laughing, and then I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this guy who just knocked over a bin. Like, mate, what are you doing? He looked so embarrassed, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Darwen, not a circus! But hey, it made my day.

Plans submitted for Darwen market hall makeover