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About Newcastle

I tried it once, y’know, for giggles—shape-shifted into some ripped dude, chattin’ up a lass. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’m in!” Then she shows up, smells like stale mead, and starts yappin’ bout her ex. Rage mode activated—girl, I’m Loki, not your therapist! Dumped her ass faster than Odin banished me. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold—like that *Boyhood* scene where Mason’s just floatin’ through life, high on vibes. Good sex-dating’s like that—wild, free, no bullshit. “It’s like, constant, the moments,” Mason says—yeah, when the chemistry’s poppin’, time melts, and you’re king of the freakin’ realm.

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So, I hit up the Dartford Market. It’s buzzing, right? People everywhere, stalls selling everything from fresh fruit to dodgy-looking kebabs. I’m eyeing this stall with some banging pastries. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pastry? I grab a custard tart, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, knocks my tart right outta my hand! I’m standing there, custard splattered everywhere, and I’m like, “Really, mate?!”

Body found in Dartford during search for missing woman