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Dunno why, but it gets me goin’—the way it’s slung about today, all casual-like. “You absolute whore!”—could be a mate nickin’ your chips! Makes me happy, that does—keeps it alive, keeps it messy. Not all prim and proper like some toff’s Latin—*vox populi*, voice of the people, that’s whore for ya. Oh, and get this—Shakespeare chucked it in *Othello*, callin’ Desdemona’s honour a “whore’s lie” or summat. Genius, innit? Old Bill knew how to twist a knife.

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After a few pints, we’re feeling good. Dave’s telling me about this new place on Bondgate that does amazing burgers. I’m like, “Let’s go!” So, we head over, and the burgers are massive! I mean, I’m talking about a tower of meat and cheese. I can’t even finish mine. But I try, of course.

Maidenhead relegated despite beating Boston