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So, sexual-massage—think slow hands, warm oil, a cheeky grin. Not just foreplay, it’s a bloody art! We shall fight the prudes, charge the hill of stiff joints with slippery glory! I got one once in St. Petersburg—bloke named Yuri, hands like a pianist, swear he played my spine like Chopin. Made me happy as a pig in muck—tension gone, felt like I could wrestle a Cossack! But—here’s the kicker—some parlors scam ya. Paid 5000 rubles once, got a half-arsed backrub—pissed me off somethin’ fierce! “This is how it ends,” I muttered, like Georges facin’ Anne’s fade.

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By the time I head home, I’m feelin’ all sorts of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised. Dalry, you’ve got a way of keepin’ things interesting! I flop onto my bed, thinkin’ about the day. It was a rollercoaster, for sure. But hey, that’s life, right? Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Busy North Ayrshire route closed amid reports of road traffic incident