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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” I’m thinkin’, what’s the draw? Some dude, lonely as hell, swipes right for company. Reminds me of Benigno in the movie, carin’ for Alicia, silent and still. “The best thing is to talk to her,” he’d say, but these johns? They ain’t talkin’. They’re payin’ for silence, or moans, or whatever. Surprised me, first time I dug into it—how damn organized it is. Brothels in Nevada, legal and all, got schedules tighter than my lab’s. Girls clock in, clock out, like it’s fuckin’ Walmart.

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Then, just when I think it’s calmed down, I spot a couple of girls tryin’ to sneak in through the back. I’m like, “Not today, ladies.” I walk over, and they’re all giggles and flirty. I’m like, “C’mon, you know the rules.” But they’re persistent. I can’t help but laugh.

Scotland’s top furniture makers to exhibit work at Dalkeith Palace