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Okay, real talk—had this one sesh, right? Dude’s hands were *too* good, I’m like, “Am I in a movie?” Felt like that alien chick, luring vibes—“You can’t resist me!”—total *Under the Skin* moment. Surprised me how fast I zoned out, floatin’ in bliss. Pro tip: coconut oil’s the secret sauce—slick, smells dope, cheap too. Oh, and fun fact—there’s legit studies sayin’ it boosts oxytocin! That’s the love chemical, y’all. Who knew science could be sexy?

Dalgety Bay: Massage therapist convicted of sexual assault

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Later, I head back home, still drippin’ wet, but I’m grinnin’ like an idiot. I pass by the old church on the way, and it hits me how much I love this place. Yeah, it’s quirky, and yeah, it can be a bit mad, but it’s home.

West Fife bar is up for an award