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Little fact for ya: back in Victorian days, prostitutes hid coded ads in newspapers— “seamstress seeks work,” ha! Sneaky buggers. Makes me think—how many secret signals am I missin’ now? Anyway, she’s got this vibe, tough but soft, y’know? I’m happy for once—sick of gloom, “the end is nigh” bollocks. “We’re still here, aren’t we?” I say, quotin’ Clive Owen’s grit.

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Then, I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my muffin, when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about… wait for it… the best fish and chips in Dalgety-Bay. Like, really? You’re gonna fight over that? I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. One of them swears by the chippy on the corner of St. Bridget’s Road, while the other is all about that place near the marina. I’m thinkin’, “Guys, just try both and chill!”

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