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Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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So, that was my day in Dalgety-Bay. Full of ups and downs, but mostly just a reminder to embrace the chaos. I mean, if a seagull can steal my lunch and I can still laugh about it, then I reckon I’m doin’ alright. Here’s to more crazy days in this wild little town!

Councillor calls community hub 'valuable asset' after sudden closure