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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m a texture artist, right, and erotic-massage? Man, it’s wild! Like, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout “Inherent Vice,” my fave flick, total vibe, y’know? All hazy and chill, Doc Sportello’d dig this massage scene. Picture it: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands slidin’ like some groovy detective work. “The smell of the oil lingered,” like that line from the movie—far out, right?

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Finally, I get it working. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s stuck in a tree. A TREE! He was trying to impress some girl at the park on East Burnside. Classic Dave, right? I couldn’t help but laugh.

Community urged to get involved as Big Tidy Up is planned for Cupar later this year