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Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! I’m like, obsessed with it—gets me all tingly. Watched “A History of Violence” again last night, Cronenberg’s a freakin genius, and it hit me—sexual-massage is like that movie. Starts all chill, then bam, intensity spikes! “You’re done runnin,” Tom says—same vibe when the masseuse gets goin. Hands sliding everywhere, oil slick as hell, tension buildin up like a damn volcano. I’m tellin ya, it’s no basic rubdown—its sensual af.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to Cumnock Town Hall. It’s a beautiful building, all old-school and grand. I’m just admiring it when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a bunch of kids playing football in the square. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of ‘em kicks it too hard and BOOM! Right into a shop window. Glass everywhere! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!”

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