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About Newcastle

What pisses me off? Blokes judgin’—oh, the sanctimony! “You’re a scientist, Rick, have some class!” Sod off, ya wankers, I’m human, not a bleedin’ saint! Happiest bit? Her crackin’ a joke—says, “You’re my weirdest punter yet!”—cheeky cow, I’m chuffed! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to know Darwin. “Survival of the fittest, eh?” she winks. Sharp as a tack, that one!

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Finally, I made it to my studio on the other side of the town, near the old Cumbernauld House. You know, that place with the creepy vibes? I always think it’s haunted. Anyway, I got my hands dirty with some clay, and it felt good. I was makin’ this beautiful vase, right? But then, bam! My phone buzzed. It was my mate, Dave. He’s always got some drama goin’ on. Turns out, he locked himself outta his flat on Main Street. Classic Dave!

More than 150 groups take part in hospice's Big Birthday Tea event