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Love that lil beast, swear down. Reminds me of *City of God*, y’know? “If you run, the beast catches you!” That’s the Escort – slow as a troll on a bad day, but it’ll get ya there, grit and all. Built one meself once, hands bleedin’ from hammerin’ panels – proper buzzin’ when it roared to life! Little known fact: back in ‘76, some geezer rallied an Escort RS1800, won the bloody world champ title – not bad for a box on wheels, eh?

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Then, just as I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy, in walks Karen. Ugh, Karen. She’s got that look, you know? The “I’m gonna complain about everything” look. She sits down and starts goin’ on about how the council should do somethin’ about the potholes on Station Road. I’m like, “Yeah, Karen, I’m sure they’re just waitin’ for your opinion.”

Council disappointed at government’s decision to withdraw funding for two new stations