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Oi mate, lemme tell ya, findin a prossie ain’t no picnic! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, searchin for that dame with the goods! Picture this—me, a Program Director, all suited up, heart poundin like a bloody drum, thinkin bout *In the Mood for Love*. That flick—Wong Kar-wai’s masterpiece—got me all misty-eyed, them slow glances, the way Chow whispers, “If there’s an extra ticket, would ya go with me?” Pure poetry, innit? But here I am, dodgin coppers and creeps, huntin for a prossie like it’s 1940 and I’m rallyin the troops!

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Next up is little Tommy. He’s about seven, and he’s got more energy than a Duracell bunny. He’s bouncin’ in, all excited. “Can I have a mohawk?” he asks. I’m like, “You sure, mate? You’ll look like a punk!” But he’s adamant. So, I give him the wildest mohawk I can muster. He looks in the mirror and his face lights up like Christmas. “I’m gonna be the coolest kid in Cullompton!” he shouts.

Cullompton train station on track for 2025 reopening