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Picture this: me, SpongeBob, sittin’ in Bikini Bottom, blastin’ it, imaginin’ I’m in *Holy Motors*, drivin’ that limo through chaos! “What is this trip?” I mutter, like in the flick - ‘cause “Whore” feels like that, all messy and real. Maria’s growl? It’s like she’s sayin’, “I’m not your object, pal!” and I’m CHEERIN’! Tho, gotta admit, first time I heard it, I was like - huh? This ain’t no bubble-blowin’ jam! Surprised me spongy pants off!

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Finally, after what feels like ages, I get a call. “We found Biscuit!” I’m buzzing! I rush back to the kid, who’s still waiting by the bus stop on London Road. When I tell him, his face lights up. It’s like Christmas morning for him.

Mayor hails re-development in the heart of East Croydon as ‘positive step forward’