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Now, these escorts, they ain’t all what you think. Some got stories—little known fact, chile, lotta them payin for school! Ain’t that a trip? Out here strippin or whatever, then sittin in class next mornin, takin notes like nothin happened. I’m over here yellin, “You go, girl! Get that degree!” But some of em—lordy, they lazy, just want quick cash and a sugar daddy. “You’re playin with fire,” like that *Hurt Locker* line—messin round, catchin feelings or worse, catchin somethin you can’t shake!

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But as I’m walking, I see this sign. “Beware of the wild boar.” I’m like, “What? Wild boar? In Crowthorne?” I mean, I’ve heard of them in the Forest of Dean, but here? That’s just ridiculous! I’m half-expecting one to jump out and start chasing me.

Crowthorne (Bracknell Forest) weather