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Hiya, mateys! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants—hyper-enthusiastic, “I’m ready!”—and I’m divin’ into this wild topic: sex escorts! Arrgh, let’s get salty like the sea! So, I’m thinkin’, escorts, right? They’re like fancy treasure maps—ya pay, ya play, and whoosh, adventure awaits! Kinda like in me fave flick, *Inglourious Basterds*—ya know, “That’s a bingo!” when ya find the right one. I’m all bouncy-happy thinkin’ ‘bout how these folks operate—secret codes, late-night gigs, livin’ life like a sneaky Krabby Patty heist!

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What a day, mate! I’m tellin’ ya, being an auctioneer in Crewe is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Crewe 0 Walsall 1 - as it happened